Food for thought (for all of us!)

I just received this as an email and it touched me. I'm unsure of the author but wanted to share it anyway. As a divorced mom, it spoke to me in all ways. But, as I was reading it, I thought that everyone could relate. Enjoy!

Perhaps the most challenging, frustrating and painful journey we embark upon in our lives is the search for someone to love -- who will love us back. I get stacks of emails from people who are in the throes of agony over their relationships, whether it’s 15 months, or 15 years down the line. There are stories of lies, heartbreak, betrayal and indifference. And sadly, many people tolerate it for years on end, all in the name of "love."

Well, if you’re in an unhappy relationship, where you are being treated with disdain, disrespect or derision, you most certainly SHOULD fall in love with someone else.

YOURSELF.

If you do not love yourself first and foremost above all else, you will never be truly happy in a relationship. I’m not talking about selfish, narcissistic love, or love at the expense of others.

What I mean is self-respect, acceptance and appreciation for the person you are -- warts and all.

When you love someone, you want only the best for them, right? You look out for their safety. You make sure they’re well taken care of. You certainly don’t want them to be hurt. These things are all pretty obvious, right? So why don’t people treat themselves the same way?

Because they don’t love themselves. They’re not looking out for their best interests.

If you love yourself, respect who you are as a person, realize you are entitled to respect and honesty from others, you wouldn’t put up with crap! You wouldn’t accept it as "your fate" or "the best you can do."

You’d do something to change it. Talk about it. Get help from a counselor. If you love yourself, you do NOT continue to accept pain and heartache.

It’s hard to develop confidence and self-belief in the face of adversity, but it is impossible without a strong foundation of love and respect for yourself. Love for yourself is what gives you the power to speak up, ask questions, seek help and change your circumstances.

And another thing! Until you know yourself, accept and understand your strengths and weaknesses, you cannot really love another person.

You must be filled with love yourself in order to love another. After all, you must have something to give! Otherwise, in a relationship, you’ll suck. Suck the love from someone else, and use it simply to fill up your void. I’m sure you’ve met some "suckers" in your life -- I know I have. But until you know what makes your heart "tick," how can you entrust its care and feeding to someone else?

Here’s the way I look at it, and maybe it will help you too.

I’m the queen of my heart. As queen, I expect to be treated with respect. In my realm, I will only allow people who value and appreciate me. No one will raise his hand up to me. I will not allow anyone who lies or cheats to live in my queendom. Those who break the rules will be punished by banishment, or I will pick up my queendom and move it someplace out of their reach. Crap, baggage and garbage will be swiftly discarded, lest my queendom become stinky. I will only give my precious heart to someone who can demonstrate he can take care of it the way I do: with care, respect, understanding and appreciation. And I will ALWAYS lead by example.
After all, how can you expect others to love, respect and honor YOU if you don’t yourself?