Doing the HAPPY DANCE!!

Thank you for all of your well-wishes and prayers! They've worked. All my test results have come back and every single thing is NORMAL!!!!! Still makes me wonder what the heck is wrong with me, but I guess I'm more like my mom than I think I am...we don't do things half way. It's all the way and to the extreme or nothing. But, thankfully I'm ok, I'll be around for a VERY long time and thats all that matters. YEAH!!!!

Food for thought (for all of us!)

I just received this as an email and it touched me. I'm unsure of the author but wanted to share it anyway. As a divorced mom, it spoke to me in all ways. But, as I was reading it, I thought that everyone could relate. Enjoy!

Perhaps the most challenging, frustrating and painful journey we embark upon in our lives is the search for someone to love -- who will love us back. I get stacks of emails from people who are in the throes of agony over their relationships, whether it’s 15 months, or 15 years down the line. There are stories of lies, heartbreak, betrayal and indifference. And sadly, many people tolerate it for years on end, all in the name of "love."

Well, if you’re in an unhappy relationship, where you are being treated with disdain, disrespect or derision, you most certainly SHOULD fall in love with someone else.

YOURSELF.

If you do not love yourself first and foremost above all else, you will never be truly happy in a relationship. I’m not talking about selfish, narcissistic love, or love at the expense of others.

What I mean is self-respect, acceptance and appreciation for the person you are -- warts and all.

When you love someone, you want only the best for them, right? You look out for their safety. You make sure they’re well taken care of. You certainly don’t want them to be hurt. These things are all pretty obvious, right? So why don’t people treat themselves the same way?

Because they don’t love themselves. They’re not looking out for their best interests.

If you love yourself, respect who you are as a person, realize you are entitled to respect and honesty from others, you wouldn’t put up with crap! You wouldn’t accept it as "your fate" or "the best you can do."

You’d do something to change it. Talk about it. Get help from a counselor. If you love yourself, you do NOT continue to accept pain and heartache.

It’s hard to develop confidence and self-belief in the face of adversity, but it is impossible without a strong foundation of love and respect for yourself. Love for yourself is what gives you the power to speak up, ask questions, seek help and change your circumstances.

And another thing! Until you know yourself, accept and understand your strengths and weaknesses, you cannot really love another person.

You must be filled with love yourself in order to love another. After all, you must have something to give! Otherwise, in a relationship, you’ll suck. Suck the love from someone else, and use it simply to fill up your void. I’m sure you’ve met some "suckers" in your life -- I know I have. But until you know what makes your heart "tick," how can you entrust its care and feeding to someone else?

Here’s the way I look at it, and maybe it will help you too.

I’m the queen of my heart. As queen, I expect to be treated with respect. In my realm, I will only allow people who value and appreciate me. No one will raise his hand up to me. I will not allow anyone who lies or cheats to live in my queendom. Those who break the rules will be punished by banishment, or I will pick up my queendom and move it someplace out of their reach. Crap, baggage and garbage will be swiftly discarded, lest my queendom become stinky. I will only give my precious heart to someone who can demonstrate he can take care of it the way I do: with care, respect, understanding and appreciation. And I will ALWAYS lead by example.
After all, how can you expect others to love, respect and honor YOU if you don’t yourself?

Speaking of questions...

Get a load of this conversation!!!

Go figure...today I had company when I got out of the shower...2 nosey 4 year olds! I was trying to dry my hair while Sarah was jiggling my belly asking why it was so squishy. We've had this conversation before! I just laughed and tried to be silly, telling them it was jiggly because they used to be in there...can you see where this conversation is going?? They asked HOW they got in there and I ignored the question. (Hey!! I don't know the right thing to say!!) Then they asked how they got OUT!? I tried to keep it light and funny, joking around with them while my face turned beet red. Well, they kept pushing and pushing...asking if they popped out of my belly button...if they came out of my nostrils. So I told them the truth and said that babies come out of mommy's vagina's, and that was why only mommy's could have babies. Sarah is still bouncing and laughing. She either didn't hear, or didn't care. But I could see that Zack stopped dead in his tracks. He turned to me, straight faced, and asked if they fell into the toilet!!!! HAHAHAHahahahah....I couldn't stop laughing!!!! He was very serious at first but lightened up when he saw I was laughing. I explained that a doctor helped me have them and toilets were not involved at all. Guess that was all I had to say because then they ran off to play. I was rolling on the ground laughing!!! Later they told Keith not to worry...they weren't born into a tiolet. Guess I should have told him about the conversation earlier! Good thing he knew enough to just answer "Good! I'm glad!"

Who? What? Where? Why? When?

And I'm sure they can think of many other questions to ask...how come? But why? But why? But why? Oh yeah...it has begun! The stage of asking about anything and everything!

I'm told it's a sign of intelligence. The more they ask the more they learn. Very inquisative children. Ok...I get it, but what happens when I don't have answers for their questions? Or don't have answers that satisfy them??? Then what?

I'll give you some examples:

How are tv's made? But who makes them? But WHY do they make tv's? How come they don't want to make pensils instead? Where do pencils come from? Who brings them to the store? Why do we need pencils? How come we can't erase pen? Can we grow up to be a pen? How about a cat? How are cats made? How did the kitten get into the mommy cat's belly? ok....you can see where this is going. We've already begun the questions how they came to be. They are 4 years old!!!! Any hints as to how to address this? I've said that mommy and daddy wished for babies so hard that God put them in mommy's tummy. Guess who is now wishing very hard for babies? (ok, more Sarah at the moment than Zack, who just wants to be a hockey star! That's his current wish)

As frustrating as it is at times, it still makes me smile! Yes...I am a gushing mother! I have already decided that I will be the mom at the dance recitals who come with 4 dozen roses, 16 cameras and a box of tissues, or the mom who runs onto the basketball court to give my boy a hug and a kiss in the middle of a game for trying hard at making a shot but missing. Or the one who wants to personally tackle the quarterback who tackles my child during a football game. Guess this is teaching me to sit back, relax and enjoy what comes. Lead them in the right direction and keep my fingers crossed that all turns out well. Oye...easier said than done. In the meantime I will do my best to answer their questions and try to change the subject for those questions I don't have answers for. WIsh me luck!

It's been pretty quiet

But...keep the prayers coming! I had some tests done today and so far so good! Just waiting for one more and then I can breathe a sigh of relief. Thank you so much, all of you, for keeping me in your thoughts!

Otherwise, as my title says, things have been pretty quiet. The kids are great! Healthy finally and still testing me and my super power abilities. Who would have thought that 2 little 4 year olds could make me laugh as they do. Nothing has ever made me feel more complete...more pure happiness and satisfaction as my children do. They are the best things that have ever happened to me. I know I say that a lot...but I really mean it!! Really, really! :)

Apparently now I have super powers!!

Now see if you can imagine this: I am standing at the stove stirring something and one of the kids opens a drawer. Without turning my head I said "Close it." This exact example happened the other day with Sarah. She said "How'd you even know I opened it?" I tried to explain to her that I could still see it out of the corner of my eye. She didn't really understand, so to be silly, I said "mom's can see everything." This kept up over the last few days with both kids testing me. Sarah would cough. I'd say "Cover your mouth!" She'd say "how'd you know I didn't?" Each time I'd say "Mom's can see everything." Tonight I was cleaning up dinner while I was listening to the kids play in the other room. Zack was jumping on a toy I had asked him by then a thousand times NOT to jump on. Sarah told him to stop and he responded that mom couldn't see. (I'm giggling to myself by this point!) Sarah said "Remember, mom has super powers!" And Zack's response was "Yeah, she could probably see through the walls too!" Hahahahahaha!!! Now I have super powers!! If only I could use those super powers to clean my house for me!

My poor Little Sarah!

My poor baby has pneumonia. She and Zack came down with a cold last week and have been sick ever since. Over the weekend I both had on and off fevers, but mostly low grade. Zack got much better while Sarah got worse. I was concerned about the fever so we went to the pediatrician this afternoon. My poor little munchkin. She is now on antibiotics and an albuterol inhaler. She has always been they type of kid you never knew was sick. Today it was an understatement to say that she looked pitiful. I'm sure after a couple of days she will be back to her normal self and feeling much better!!

At least she wasn't too sick this past Saturday! Auntie Marci and Aunt Sheila took her shopping for her flower girl dress for Auntie Marci's wedding. She had soooo much fun and truly felt like a princess all day.

I wanted to share at least one picture (don't worry, Marci...none of the important ones!)

New Years Eve

This is a picture of my friend Sandy and I from New Years Eve. It was a great time, despite the party itself being horrible. In a nutshell, there wasn't enough food and it wasn't good, too many people, too little alcohol, no tubing, too cold, pitiful bonfire where you had to stand in line to make smores...that's basically it! But, you couldn't beat the company!! We listened to Chris play his guitar while we sipped champagne by the huge fireplace at our hotel and talked and laughed until well after 3am! Now that was fun!! Then breakfast this morning just before John McCain's visit (what a hoopla to get ready for that!!) and a 4 hour drive home in a blizzard! All I have to say is thank goodness I peed before I left! Yes, mom, that's you I heard in my ear..."You need to at least TRY to go before you leave the house!" Thanks mom! And Happy New Year everyone!!