My poor backyard!

Just another day...

What would have been my 8 year anniversary just passed on the 28th. Marci knew the day was coming and, assuming it would be difficult and emotional for me, sent me this heartfelt and wonderful email. Honestly I was a bit concerned about how I would handle it but once the actual day came, it was no different than any other day. That surprised me! Last year I spent the day with my parents, grandfather and kids in Florida. It was a tough day. It honestly is amazing to me the difference a year makes. It's so hard to go through the "firsts" in everything, but it's becoming more and more apparent how much easier the "seconds" are...and so on. As always it's the anticipation that's the worst. Hard to imagine I've been separated for 17 months and it's now been over a year since we went to court. When people ask me how long I've been divorced, I really don't know what to say! We went to court for the divorce in May of 2007 but there was a waiting period. Therefore it wasn't legal and final until September of 2007. So, have I been divorced since May? Or since Sept? Any ideas? Not that it really matters. When I see how far I've come it seems like it must have happened years ago, but other times it feels like it was just a few months ago. People I know are beginning to wonder why I'm not dating yet. I've been on a few dates over the last year but I still have very little interest. If it happens, fine. I'm still not ready to go out searching for anything. Not sure why but I know I'm not. So there! :)

Here's the rest of the update...

1. Allergies are kicking us all in the you-know-what! Poor Zack was coughing so hard tonight that he made himself throw up! Hopefully medicine will help.

2. We had the kid's parent/teacher conference this past week to discuss Kindergarten readiness and their progress over the last year. Both are right on track academically and are doing very, very well. She did mention that sometimes Zack's attention span is off but he is easily redirected. She said he is also really silly at times. (No, really?!) She attributes it to him being a boy (again...no, really?!) and young! A lot of the kids in their class are 10 or 11 months OLDER than my kids are. She doesn't see it as a problem because he is redirected so easily and because it isn't affecting his academics at all.

3. (MOST IMPORTANT!!!) The work on the new septic system began yesterday and as of 8:30 tonight, I am all hooked up to the new system!!! What was the first thing I did, you asked?? Flushed the toilet and then threw in a load of laundry! Ohh the simple things that make us happy!!! It's like it's my birthday!!! Then I look outside and see the disaster that is my backyard at the moment. Tomorrow morning I will go out and take some pictures. It's all dug up and destroyed. There are huge trucks and machinery parked right where my fence is supposed to be and tubes are sticking up all over the place from the sprinkler system. The kids have been loving the 10ft mounds of dirt in the yard and think their backyard is now a huge sandbox!! Thankfully the workers have been really good with the kids and have been talking to them about what they are doing and the machines they are using. Zack is in his glory! Sarah has finally stopped crying about it all and will actually go out and play and watch them. She doesn't mind now that she knows she won't fall in the holes and disappear forever (her words, not mine...poor kid!!). All that's left is to bury everything, fix all the landscaping, collapse and fill in both cesspools...ok, guess there's a lot left to do. But, who the hell cares?! I can do laundry now!! An I think I may just run the dishwasher tomorrow just for the hell of it!! ;)

4. Still trying to find someone to install the ceiling in my basement. The walls are painted and home depot installed the carpet this week. The room is GREAT!!! I wasn't sure who was more excited about it...the kids or the dogs?! Once the ceiling is in (and Nathan can install the new lighting) it will finally be done. But, at least the kids can go down there now, run around and play! I'm so glad I had it done. The painting is done on the inside of the house but I'm not happy with my room. He did a great job but the color isn't bright enough for me. Not sure what I'll do but I'm not concerned about it now. The pics don't show the decorations the kids put up in their rooms or their curtains. I'll post more another time.

Here are some pictures of the inside:

HE'S DRIVING ME TO DRINK!!!

I absolutely CAN NOT BE ALONE IN THIS SENTIMENT!! At least not amongst parents of preschoolers! G-d help me if I am! Zack is driving me absolutely crazy!!!! One minute is is lovey-dovey and sweet...next minute the devil must have taken over his body! He is whining and screaming over everything! He's fresh unless it's his way and he gets what he wants, when he wants it. He WILL not help out or do a damn thing for himself anymore, he's become mean...tonight he literally pushed his friend out of the way who was just standing there because wanted to walk by! He and Sarah love to play rough and I never stop it unless someone gets hurt or isn't listening to the other. I would hear Sarah constantly tell him to "stop!", "it's hurting me!", "please don't do that"...you name it and he completely ignores her! He will even chase her around the house to terrorize her with something that scares her JUST BECAUSE! I tell him not to do something and not even 10 seconds later (and sometimes even looking right at me) will do it again! I'm a broken record!! No punishment, yelling, rewarding...NOTHING seems to even faze him! He thinks everything is a joke and even laughs in my face! I'm at my whits end!! G-D HELP ME!!! I need a martini...anyone wanna join me??

(Disclaimer...I love both my children more than anything in this word...no matter how much they drive me crazy! However, some days (or ok, weeks!!) are harder than others! Usually when I get to this point is when he "snaps out of it" and my sweet little well-mannered boy is back! I'm waiting for that day...impatiently waiting but waiting none-the-less. I know he's in there!! I just have to coax him out! Come out, come out wherever you are!!!)

Mother's Day

I had a great, but rather unconventional Mother's Day. It began with Keith buying tickets to a Paw Sox game for his special day with Zack, not realizing the game was on Mother's Day. Woops! I said that's ok...I'll have a special day with Sarah...just mommy/Sarah time. It's rare that either one of us get time alone with either child so all of us were really looking forward to it. In the meantime, I received the wonderful news that Marci was graduating from Quinnipiac University on Mother's Day morning. This is a huge accomplishment for Marci...I wouldn't have missed it for the world. It was a perfect day for a graduation. After the graduation, we visited with Opa for a while. I got some great pictures!! (Does he seem like he's 98 years old??)








From what Keith said, Zachary had a GREAT time on his boys-only day. All day today he had his catcher's helmet on and a bat in his hand. He even told his teachers all about it this morning. Sounds like everyone had a nice day!